Narcissism – a grandiose sense of importance, preoccupation with unlimited success, a belief that one is special and unique, exploitative of others, lack empathy, arrogance, and jealousy of others.
Narcissists seem to be plaguing our world right now, from social media and television to the common workplace, we are drowning in narcissism. It appears to me that some of the most successful, influential and financially secure individuals demonstrate the traits of the common narcissist.
I have been surrounded by people who exhibited the common symptoms of narcissism. My childhood home, my work environment and even my own personal space were tainted by a narcissist. Selfish people who always seemed to thrive in impossible ways. No matter their circumstances or situation they always seem to come out on top.
Long-term narcissist exposure will leave you feeling doubtful, uneasy and unconfident about your talents and path to success. I know, I have felt unworthy and afraid of success. So, I decided when the fear of not succeeding became greater than anything else, that I would take what I know about narcissists and apply it to my life.
2019 will be the year that I begin to succeed and thrive as a writer, and small business owner.
I plan to thrive and succeed as a writer and small business owner in 2019 taking these 7 traits from the Narcissist.
No matter what they come first.
Be selfish. Make sure your friends and family are aware of your goals and let them know your work will be coming first the near future. Say no and be unapologetic. Set clear boundaries and stick to them no matter the response you get. Making your dream a priority will pay off in the long term
Narcissists don’t have feelings for anyone but themselves.
Turn off your emotions when they surface. Your business life and your personal life are not mutually exclusive. Keep them separate. When it comes to your goal your feelings will not work with you, they will only work against you. Keep them in check. Cold, calculating and focused in order to meet the metrics you set for yourself are some of the only ways you will become successful.
The Narcissists is confident in believing the world owes them everything.
Act as if it all belongs to you. Believe that you are worthy, deserving and entitled to a successful, prosperous, life filled with financial security and freedom. Live each day as if you are entitled to success. It belongs to you, so act like it. Even if you don’t believe it in the beginning, tell yourself over and over, success belongs to you.
The narcissist can be paranoid and suspicious of others around them, causing them to keep their plans, thoughts, etc, a secret.
Reveal only what people need to know. Keep your plans close to your chest. No everyone in your life is truly there to support and lift you up. When you plot and strategize, do it alone. Revealing too much, too early can place hurdles in your path.
5. Two Selves
The narcissist will seem to change behaviors and adapt to whomever and whatever is in their orbit, almost as if they have more than one person inside them.
Learn to code switch and adapt to each new environment accordingly. The career path you partake will lead you to engage and interact with people from all walks of life. You will be placed in new environments and surroundings that might be overwhelming, and thus you will be required to put on your business hat and pretend you belong in that space until you feel comfortable. Fake it until you are it.
When a situation or person no longer suits the life or agenda of the narcissists they will quickly and without any emotion discard them.
Don’t be afraid to move on when necessary. If the business, person or plan is not serving you then let it go immediately. Move on to plan B, C or D. Take a beat, mourn, cry or vent and then keep moving.
The Narcissist will find someone or something that will benefit their agenda and then they will hoover until they get what they want. they will make their potential victim believe they are a worthy investment.
Whoever, or whatever can help you progress and achieve your dreams, reach out and engage. Become or pretend to be charming, appealing, and engaging. Learn the hoover. Start cold emailing, networking, asking smart questions, finding a mentor who will see you as an investment and make it all work to your benefit.
All the above is meant to be taken with a grain of salt and common sense. I am not promoting in any way, anyone taking advantage of another person. I’m suggesting you use the same tactics a narc would to get their agenda fulfilled. Be smart, strategic, focused and relentless and success will be yours.
Stay tuned for my 2019 goal list. Follow me as I apply the above and gain success as an independent author and small business owner.